Below are the 5 most recent journal entries recorded in Ryan's LiveJournal:

Tuesday, December 10th, 2002
3:49 pm	I took a quiz, now I feel sexy. What's your brand of sexy? brought to you by Quizilla (Comment on this)
3:05 pm	Warming up to the niece. For the last few months my niece has basically been afraid of me. Maybe it is the hair, maybe the beard. In any case, most of the time when I reach to take her from whoever is holding her, she turns her head and buries herself in their arm. Under the suggestion of several of my friends I have tried bribery. She went for the candy and then tried to get down. This weekend my immediate family got together to assemble the tree and decorate. It was a lot of fun, my mother even bought my lunch. Having seven hours (We have several tons of decorations.) around her I decided to try to warm up to the niece and show her I am not as scary as I look. Well, maybe I am as scary as I look, but what kind of uncle would I be if she knew that. During lunch she got into a talkative mood and was being coached to say most of the words she knew. When asked, "Where's Ryan?" she wasn't too afraid to point. She even pronounced a full half of my name, "Ry-ry". During the festivities every time she was standing around, I would offer my arms to pick her up, but she pretty much ignored me. When offered candy she slowly waddled over, carefully took the candy, then quickly bolted to the nearest leg that wasn't mine. That evening, as things were winding down, she started to get fussy and tired. My sister laid my niece on the couch. She stood up and looked over the back of the couch for her mother. She fussed even more at having been left alone on the sofa. I went over and picked her up; she calmed down right away. When I turned her around to make sure she knew who had saved her from the horribleness of being alone on the sofa, she very clearly expressed that I was better than nothing. She kept searching the room for her mother. When my sister got back with the bottle she reached for it and fell back onto my chest to drink. After a couple minutes she turned around and looked up to see who she was lying on. When she figured me out she sighed, and best I can tell rolled her eyes. Until next week, when the family gets together for annual photos, I'll have to hope that she has gotten over her fear of me. (Comment on this)
Tuesday, November 5th, 2002
1:51 am	NaNoWriMo I decided to write a novel this month... this is National Novel Writing Month. The goal is to write a 50,000 word novel in one month. There is no prize, just the satisfaction of finishing. The only thing holding me back is my own instinct to give up. They expect over a thousand people to finish, I hope I'm one of them. The web site is nanowrimo.org . I hope some of my friends join the insanity so that we can complain at one another. Wish my luck, or better yet, join me! (Comment on this)
Sunday, September 8th, 2002
12:00 pm	Parties and the changes they bring. A friend of mine had his birthday recently... long story short... there was a party... the party had drinking. Some of his friends don't get along well with me, but we all agreed to get along for the night. In particular, one person at the party -- under normal circumstances -- says she hates me. I never did figure out my; she just does. She seems nice enough, so when I hang out with her I try to make conversation. Nine times out of ten she just blows me off. This party was different. I think it was the alcohol. She already had about six drinks when I got there. I said, "hi"; she said, "just 'cause I'm drunk doesn't mean I don't hate you." Things progressed much as things do at parties. The longer I was there the more I found to talk to her about. We have a lot more in common then I knew. I asked her again, "why do you hate me?"; this time it was, "I don't hate you; I just dislike you." She still won't tell me why. As I was leaving the party I did the hug-rounds. When I came to her I just held out my hand. She stood up, wrapped her arms around me and gave me a firm hug. Then she looked at me, smiled and said, "don't worry, I'll hate you again on Monday." I was once told that alcohol makes your true colors shine. I was once told that alcohol makes friends. When the two properties of alcohol collide, I guess friendship wins out. Somehow it seems to have some depth to it I can't quite grasp. I look forward to seeing how she treats me next time I see her. Current Mood: amused Current Music: The Buzz 96.5 (Comment on this)
Friday, September 6th, 2002
5:43 pm	Why can't people keep do what they say? I wish people would do what they say. When they say, "I'll tell you first," I expect to be the first to know. I was dating a girl, nothing to serious, but I was really starting to get attached. One night, maybe a month ago, she was being overly secretive. I didn't want to deal with it so I left the room to relax. She left the house to go home. After a while (later that night) I got brave and went to see her, just so I knew where I stood. She said she still really liked me, and promised she'd tell me if she wanted to just be friends. She never told me, she just stopped calling or wanting to hang out. I can understand that people drift apart. Until about an hour ago, that is what I thought happened. Until I found out that not only was she planning to stop seeing me, she told my close friends. I am so tired of being lied to. It didn't hurt that she doesn't want to date me, that is perfectly reasonable. I am hurt by the fact that she wouldn't or couldn't tell me. I am hurt that she told others instead. Is it unreasonable to want to know these things? Is it so hard to tell people how you feel about them? Alright, it is hard to tell people how we feel. I don't think that should stop us from telling them. I try to live by certain principles, one of them is honesty, another is openness. I try to tell people things they should know.Venting is the greatest cure for frustration, does a great job on hurting too. (Comment on this)